Jared Goldsmith

This book was never meant to exist. No one needs to know the details. Just know this: there's a Merry, a Larry, a missing tooth, and a teachers' strike that is crippling Timmy Failure's academic future. Worst of all, Timmy is banned from detective work. It's a conspiracy of buffoons. He recorded everything in his private notebook, but then the manuscript was stolen. If this book gets out, he will be grounded for life. Or maybe longer. And will Timmy's...

As the new computer lab teacher tries to bring Ella Mentry School into the twenty-first century with her peculiar inventions, second-grader A.J. struggles to survive without sugary snacks when principal Klutz bans junk food.

Famous children's author Suki Kabuki and her pet raptor, Rappy, wreak havoc during a visit to Ella Mentry School.

A.J. and the other students at Ella Mentry School brave trick-or-treating at the school secretary's house, even though it is supposedly haunted.

When the hippie crossing guard, Mr. Louie, puts a love potion in the water fountain before Valentine's Day, everyone at Ella Mentry School falls in love.

Mrs. Cooney, the school nurse, is so beautiful that A.J. has a crush on her--even though he suspects she might be an international spy!

Meet Timmy Failure, the founder, president, and CEO of the best detective agency in town, probably the nation and his lazy sidekick, Total, a 1,500-pound polar bear.

Roscoe is determined to guess the weight of a giant pumpkin in order to win books for his school library and candy for himself, but is overwhelmed by superstitions, especially about a certain black kitten.

Envy turns to admiration and finally to friendship for Goat and Unicorn.

When boring Mr. Loring retires, A.J.'s class gets a new music teacher who raps, break-dances, and thinks he has what it takes to become a famous musician.